Friday, October 12, 2012

More than 1 more hour

When I was teenage-years young, I made a decision to only live until my 30th birthday. I was convinced that, although I didn't want to live to even see my 16th or even 20th birthday, that living until I was 30 would be sufficient enough. Even last year as I turned 29, I kept thinking to myself - 'this is my last year', 'only one more year of being so. emotionally. done.' I just saw no point in moving forward, even though in the rational part of my mind I know I have so to live for.
Up until this week, I was ready. To give up. To let go. To say goodbye.
And then today. Today I met my little human (on screen). I saw it move and squirm as the ultra-sound tech tried to take her pictures and measurements. I saw it hide and do the worm and hug itself. I received confirmation that the bubbles i have been feeling in my belly are indeed my little human moving around.
Today things became a little more real.
Today confirmed my reason to continue for another 30 years.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

I'm Baaack

I took some selfish time. Or rather, couldn't be bothered time. Or better yet, I didn't have the patience to post while solely using my iPhone, and hated having to log onto the ancient home computer which crashes every seven minutes.
But today that changes.
Husband treated me to an early birthday present - a new lap top.
So now I have no excuse not to exist online.
Which means you get to listen to my blatherings again.
I will let you decide whether that's a good or bad thing.