One Stressy Weekend

This upcoming weekend my mom is coming to town. It's just for two nights. She won't even be in the house for a full 48 hours. But the anxiety I feel in making sure that our home is immaculately clean is more overwhelming than the thought of being in a car with no brakes.
There is some dust, smudges on the bathroom mirror, and the odd tumbleweed of cat-hair, but we keep our home clean. Relatively clean. And by we, I mean mostly me. Husband helps with chores, but I do 87% of the vacuuming, dusting, dishes, Swiffering, scrubbing of the bathroom facilities, cleaning of the cat shitter-box, etc etc. Husband helps tidy when we have company over. He is really good at getting rid of clutter. I am really good at creating clutter. But that's another story for another day.
However, when my mom comes to visit, I feel this need to make sure our home is ridiculously clean - like Danny Tanner clean. My need to live up to my mom's standards has been an 'all-my-life' thing, and cleanliness is something that I never want her to judge me on. In the rational part of my brain, I know she doesn't really care, but in that tiny maniacal sector at the back, I am a crazy nut with a high-speed dustbuster chasing the cats when they leave a trail of litter coming from their shit-box. I am a Swiffer addict - dusting EVERY surface in our home, Swiffer-sweeping & Swiffer-mopping the floors. Oh Swiffer - I love thee so...
Where was I?
And then there is the gardening... we've been neglecting. A lot. I mean, we have been watering our flowers, but as for the empty flower pots - they have just become a catch-all for cigarette butts, firework leftovers, & other miscellaneous garbage. Classy, I know. Just glad our neighbours are far enough away that they can't see in the pots. We don't want to be those neighbours....

Seriously.... have a little pride in your home much?

So Thursday will be sent madly cleaning, gardening, tidying, & ensuring that our home smells like clean laundry & possibly some home-made pie.

We're Officially Glampers Now!

I like to camp.
Let me clarify, I like to camp when it's warm out and not raining or muddy or cold or miserable outside.
And where I live, that means we can go camping between May long weekend and Labour day. Anytime before or after that is a "no guarantees that you'll stay dry, warm or sane" weekend.
Husband and I have tented since we have met. We have this huge mutha-fucking tent that is bigger than most people's kitchen's. The thing even has a built in sun room. It's a great tent, with space for a queen-size bed-in-a-bag, plus room for all of the rest of our shit, without feeling like we are stepping on our bed every time we climb through the tent. I love our tent, is what I am saying. Plus, our friend's have tent-envy, so that always makes us feel like champs.
But we're movin' on up... Husband's parents bought a new (to them) 5th wheel trailer and have graciously given us their old little camper. This 14-ft trailer rolled right out of the early 80's and right into our hearts. It's so quaint and adorable. The In-Laws took great care of it, and it shows. No leaks, new bedding, & some pretty sweet upgrades - like an extension for the bed to make it wider, and a button you can press with your knee to make the tap work automatically, instead of using one hand to hold the tap on while attempting to wash the other hand solo.

Did someone call 1986? 

The best part: our new little addition has a furnace, so we can camp year-round if we really want to. (Not that we would, but it's nice to know we have that as an option)

My new home away from home.

Now all we need to do is to name this puppy... any suggestions?

Shower Toys

An aunt of my husband's was cleaning up her house before a big family gathering. Her son uses the main bathroom as his 'getting ready' bathroom, so she went in to make sure the room was neat and tidy. The kid is 19 so keeping his bathroom in order is not priority # 1. As she was cleaning up around the bathtub, she noticed this weird tube. Aunt-in-Law (AiL) didn't know what it was, and didn't want to leave it out for guests to find, so she brought it downstairs to ask her fiance if he knew what it was. As soon as Soon-to-be-Uncle-in-Law (StbUiL) saw it, he burst out laughing. StbUiL called over his daughter, who took one look, asked AiL whose it was and where she found it while also trying to control her laughter. AiL still didn't understand what was so funny until her son walked in the door. As he walked into the kitchen and saw what his mom was holding in her hand he turned bright red, grabbed the silicone sex toy out of his mom's hand and dashed to hide it in his room. Upon his return, AiL asked him what THAT was all about. "It's a Gigi***" he said. "I love it; it feels so good!"

***if you plan on googling Gigi - it's likely NSFW, but your man in your life will LOVE it.

My To-Do List

Every night as I try to fall asleep, I make lists in my head. Mostly the lists are about what I want to accomplish the next day. The lists are grandiose, and well-intended, however when I wake up in the morning the last thing I want to do is anything on The List. Cause seriously, who really wants to do clean the bathroom and do dishes first thing in the morning....
BUT
Something I do actually love doing all of the time: Organizing & Decorating. Although Husband and I moved into our place in March, we still have a multitude of packed boxes that we have just dumped in one room and then closed the door to hide the mess. It's sad really.
Since work has been slow lately, I am taking this time to attack the disaster room and finish turning our house into a home. There are pictures and mirrors to be hung; bookshelves to be filled; many, many items to be put away in a proper place; and lots of filing. I have a feeling that Husband will be coming home to a new layout of furniture in the bedroom at some point this week too. Not that he would have much say in the matter to begin with, but I hope he likes it!

Work-day Blues

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Things are slowing down. I fear my project may be shut down soon and then I will have to find a real job. I am not prepared for that. I don't want to be prepared for that. I don't feel I can go back to working in an office with people again. I don't have much to offer elsewhere. My (long-time-ago) barista experience can only take me so far. My small town only offers so much. I am unconditioned for re-training my mind. You know, old dog, new tricks.... Insert other negative excuses here.

Insert project-saving wish here.

Getting My Goat & Floating My Boat

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Some things that are getting my goat this week:

• The lack of work coming to me from my contractor. No work means no invoicing. No invoicing means no money. No money means no fun.
• One of my cats is obsessively scratching his head, to the point of creating bald spots, and I know it's not because he is pondering the clues to Jeopardy. The vet gave him some prednisone to reduce the agitation; hopefully Amos will be back to normal soon. His lack of kitten-ness makes me sad.
• My favorite shows have ended for the season. Now it's on to repeats and summertime reality crap TV. Not that there is anything wrong with that. 
• I moved far away from downtown Vancouver six months prior to the momentous time of celebration of the Canucks potentially bringing the Stanley Cup home to Canada. The move was for the best, but Husband and I wish we could still be 10 blocks away from the biggest party the city will be hosting during those next few games. 

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Some things that are floating my boat this week:

• The Vancouver Canucks are in the Stanley Cup finals!!!
• I am devouring two-bite brownies for breakfast
• I tried on, and can comfortably fit in size 29 jeans for the first time in my adult life. Even as a teenager, I was a tad doughy in the hips and thighs and thus wearing anything below a 32" or 31" inch waist was a dream I never knew would come true. 
• Moby released a new free download of an instrumental, orchestral version of 'the day'. I have been listening to it on repeat for the last 4 hours. It's so soothing yet refreshing. Perfect for listening to on this rainy day.

The Bravest of the Brave

Choose to inhale. Do not breathe simply to exist.

    - Maddie Stepanek