My Seinfeld Moment

The other day I had one of those special moments in life; Had it come from the minds of Larry David or Jerry Seinfeld, it could have ended up as a conundrum that George would have come across in an episode of Seinfeld. Well, probably not. But it was my own little Seinfeld-ism.

I had purchased a pre-made sandwich at a local gourmet grocery store. Roast turkey breast with cheddar, lettuce, mustard, mayo on a whole wheat hoagie bun. Typical deli sandwich, wrapped in it's standard 90 layers of plastic saran to 'keep it fresh'.

Fast forward a day point five.

I don't like to use dishes if I don't have to. I don't want to waste the soap or water to clean. Really it just boils down to laziness. Moving on. Feeling famished, I grab my pre-made sandwich from the fridge, and begin unraveling the saran. The way that it was coming undone allowed me to cut 1/3 of the plastic off from the end of the sandwich, leaving the perfect opening in which to eat the sandwich, whilst still holding it in its plastic sleeve. It was one of the better unwrapping jobs I have done in recent memory, as I usually tend to somehow do the 'banana-peel' open, and things just go downhill and every where from there.

So I have this sandwich. In the perfect wrapper. And I take my first bite.

Fuck.

Conundrum: The sandwich had only the slightest hint of mayonnaise on it. (I don't know about you, but I am a mayo slather-er. Mayo should be it's own layer within a sandwich; it should NEVER be so thin that it soaks into the bread before you have a chance to put anything else on.)
So what should I do? Sacrifice this perfect sandwich holder just to load up my hoagie with an emulsion of eggs and oil? Or get over it and eat the rest of my somewhat dry but still edible sandwich?
I tell you, for someone who takes their laziness and sandwiches as seriously as I do, this was a big decision.

Laziness and cleanliness won. I finished my dry sandwich in peace. It was delicious, down to the last bite. Maybe cutting back on the mayo isn't always so bad....