Tuesday, January 18, 2011

rockiest of roads; most broken of hearts

a girl among the people i know is getting married in September. things aren't going as well with her fiance as she had hoped. last spring he was nearly successful in taking his own life. since then things between them have been (obviously) very difficult. the trust between them has been completely shattered. leading to breakdowns in communication, friendship, and all of the good times they used to have.
their family feels like they are growing apart and they are only through the motions of planning their wedding because they are expected to, and not because they want it for themselves. i dont know the emotional history or the psychological history or experiences of any of these people, so i can't judge to say they don't know what they are talking about; i just know when it's brought up when the bride isn't around, they treat it like its not a big deal. dismissing it because his episode was 'understandable' based on his childhood (a really messed up one, for which he did an amazing job of working through thus far - well, up to the whole suicide attempt). knowing what i know, because of who i am, i find it very frustrating and somewhat insulting.
but it's not my place to say anything to them about how i feel. everyone is allowed their opinion. they don't know my situation, so i never comment - for fear of revealing too much - but one day i would love to tell them what really goes on in the head of a suicidal, bi-polar person such as myself.
back to the issue at hand.
husband and i have been together for over 8 years, which means a lot of ups and downs on the roller coaster of my disease. the first 5 years were before i even sought out help; the last 3 have been about finding the right combo of meds to keep me balanced enough to function. things are generally swell now, though i do have moments (see other posts, ha!).
should i attempt to contact the bride to see if she wants someone to talk to? Someone who can tell her from both sides of the fence how to deal, and what it takes, and just to be there for her? i am not super close with her, so it would be a little awkward, but i feel not saying something would be more detrimental. i want to help, but not sure if it's my place to do so... what do you think?

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